childless · Infertility · Pregnancy loss

Moving on from pregnancy loss..

Sometimes this blog isn’t about informing/ supporting others, it is about me, my thoughts, my diary almost..and today is one of those days!

Image result for being kind to yourself

**Trying to avoid triggers here as much as possible..

If you have lost a child during pregnancy you don’t need me to babble on about how gut wrenchingly painful, physically, emotionally & mentally it can be. For those who haven’t been through it, i am sure you have an idea of what it must be like, especially if you are a regular reader of my blog.

For all of us, right now, i don’t need to go down the route of describing it!

But what i have been thinking lately, the more i write about my journey, and talk to others that went through similar issues, is how far i have come, it has happened almost without me realising it, my anxiety has still been pestering me a lot, but it is general anxiety, not just utter sadness.

This is of course positive and i have small moments where i rejoice at the fact i am able to leave the house or talk to people with a genuine smile and not be fuelled up on hormones! 

Every now and then though, i stop, and i realise i am having fun, enjoying parts of life i didn’t used to, or i have gone a day without thinking of all that pain.

Once these thoughts have crossed my mind though, that is when the anxiety gets worse, how could i be happy? how dare i? how could i not think about all that has happened and all that i have lost, am i a bad person!?

Would i have been a bad mother if i could forget my child(ren) so quickly even if it was just for a day! 

The guilt descends.

Image result for guilt

6 thoughts on “Moving on from pregnancy loss..

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