baby loss · childless · eating disorder · Infertility · Ivf

This is all so familiar..

Hi Everyone,

Its been such a long time since my last post.

But this is all still so familiar to me, it feels like home, but a home you’ve been away from for a year or so.. does that make any sense?

I have no plans on what my first post back will be, i’m not even sure if it will be my first and last, or first of something new and exciting!

Last night i ventured back on twitter for the first time to see if i could find my feet again in the crazy world that is blogging and social media. What i found was a community of people i left behind so long ago that welcomed me back in with open arms.

I am a true believer that everything happens for a reason, and last night as i caught up what was going on in the world of social media, i found it was baby loss awareness month, and not old that. It was a night where at 7 pm people were lighting candles for the babies they lost, i logged back in at 6.45pm. Take that in for a moment, i am trying to.

Maybe the babies we lost were telling me something, what i am not sure. I lit a candle, and i had a glass of prosecco and i toasted them. To the life we could have had with them, and to how far their Mum and Dad have come since we lost them.

Now its easier to think about without getting upset, to think about without going into melt down, i am so proud of myself for that!

I think i am finished with discussing my IVF journey, although if people have questions i’d be more than happy to help. If i do feel i want to carry on with this, i want it to be about our life now, my journey to becoming a counsellor, to looking for a new job in mental health, to writing my own little stories and saving them on the computer and never doing anything with them!

Because now, this is my Post IVF life, sometimes its amazing, sometimes its hard, but that is ok!

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