Infertility · mental health

A fresh pair of eyes!

Image result for fresh eyes quote

Happy Monday everyone!! 

This weekend i was rather quiet on my blog and twitter too! But i tried to let myself enjoy it without my anxiety effecting my plans! I had a friend stay who had come from London and it was great to spend quality time with her without having another million things to do, which ultimately weren’t that necessary anyway (i have a habit of setting myself unrealistic goals) !

For someone who has anxiety and likes routine, having someone come to stay mid week and for 4 nights was a big deal. Of course i couldn’t wait for quality time with my friend but the change in my usual after work routine had the chance to trigger my negativity and anxiety. If i am truly honest with myself, the anxiety was there even before she arrived. I was on edge a bit, feeling a little out of control. I did feel quite tense at times but tried very hard to not show how i was feeling and enjoy the weekend. It makes me sad that i have to do this, that i have to force myself to enjoy something. But, all in all i feel like i really did well and i think that i really showed myself how far i have come.


 

While she was here we chatted a lot about my life and a lot about hers, it is clear we have different lives, and i guess different ideas about some things, but we are always here to listen an support each other and that makes for a real friendship! 

Image result for long distance friend

It is always interesting to hear someone different’s point of view, especially when our lives are so different! I speak to her often but it doesn’t beat sitting and nattering for hours drinking endless cuppas! And i feel like i learnt a lot about myself and my future while she was here.

  1. I am getting better! 
  2. I am able to talk about my fertility, childlessness and mental health calmly and rationally.
  3. I have put so much of my life on hold for IVF with little or no positive out come! 
  4. Its time to push forward and make something positive out of my life! 

We also talked a lot about careers. She is doing so well at her high flying London city job, it sounds very fast paces an exiting! Although not my cup of tea, it did make me realise its time i jumped back into looking for a proper career, childcare can’t be forever for me!

We chatted about options and what would make me happy, and honestly i think that Infertility/IVF/Mental health support is something i would love to make a career out of. SO i have decided to seriously look at training to be a counsellor. I am hoping to find some funding too as it seems to be a pretty expensive course to do!

If any of you guys have any advice/words of wisdom i would really appreciate it!!

Have any of you changed careers after IVF or started fresh after training to do something? How difficult did you find it?!

2 thoughts on “A fresh pair of eyes!

  1. Anxiety has the ability to make you feel uncomfortable in your own skin, even around good friends. I can relate to the anxiety setting in before your friend came and how it impacted you while she stayed. Sounds like you’ve had time to reflect and I am happy to read that you feel you are doing better. Training as a counsellor sounds like a great new challenge and something you would thrive in. Maybe try the Open Univerity for courses that may be funded and could be a good starting point. My friend done a COSCA counselling course but had to fund it which wasn’t as pricey as uni option. Good luck x

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