It feels like an age since i last visited my blog, i never even looked at my stats once!
I took a break over Christmas and while i missed speaking to all you lovely people, i really am glad i decided to allow myself a ‘blogging holiday’, and i am feeling refreshed and ready to make 2018 an awesome year for ME!
Mental health wise, Christmas hasn’t been too bad for me, i was in a bubble of friends and family for the most part, but a couple of people who know about my blogging in the ‘real world’ asked me why i wasn’t posting over the break, it made me feel guilty, especially when they made the point that surely a lot of people would be reading through blogs over Christmas and that i might be missing out on readers, it didn’t help my anxiety but i realised that i don’t do this for the ‘readership’ or for likes, i do this because i enjoy it, it helps me and i connect with people who are like minded which is something i need right now, so i felt like i successfully dealt with any anxious thoughts i was having and that was a result in my eyes!
In reality, the break really gave me time to focus on the festive celebrations, the people that matter to me and my own well- being too!
I also spent time thinking about my blog, how far it has come and where i want it to go this year, i have a lot of plans, some are little changes and some big decisions, i am sure i will be asking for advice about those ( i hope you don’t mind!)
Fertility wise, Christmas can be hard, we tend to cheers to ‘those who aren’t with us anymore’ over Christmas in my family, and during this time i think of the babies i lost, and those that could have been, i often wonder if any of my family do the same, or even if hubby does for that matter, i know most don’t see them as ‘people’ to be lost in the first place, i don’t blame them for that. I think of the faces i could have seen light up on Christmas morning, and the family who would have doted on them over this special time, but equally, i couldn’t imagine them being there, i couldn’t imagine me being the mother, as myself and my sister are the youngest and still get presents and ‘mothered’ by our own Mum. ( i can’t say i hate it) and i tend to embrace it as a way of dealing with my own issues!
Anyway, i can’t wait to see what this year brings, for me, ideally i will be getting paid to write for a fertility or mental health website/magazine! (I can dream can’t i?)
I would love to know how you all celebrated Christmas.. i can’t wait to hear from you guys again!