I hope you are all well and looking forward to the festive season! I am getting slightly concerned i haven’t even got one present yet – struggling for ideas this year!
Anyway, on to today’s post, i am exited to say i have a guest featuring today!
A little while ago i wrote a list of questions, i then sent them to some of my fertility blogger friends and asked them to answer them, the idea was that it would be passed around, help raise awareness and be a big group of answers to popular questions people might have about fertility issues.
Read my original ‘Fertility warrior Q&A post here..
Lately i spoke to Allison over at ‘My journey creating life‘ who was willing to answer the questions, so over to her..
For Post IVF World:
Are you male or female?
Where are you in your fertility journey?
I’m about four years into trying to grow our family: After tracking cycles, letrozole etc I was diagnosed and told I would need to use an egg donor with IVF to become pregnant. We have done two IVF rounds using my sister as an egg donor (7 embryos, 6 transfers) all done back to back with endometrial scratches every few months between February 2017- October 2017. My sister told us she couldn’t do any more cycles for us because she wanted to focus on continuing to grow her own family. We have just chosen an anonymous egg donor through an international company (paying for genetic material is illegal within Canada so we have to import it). We hope to have more embryos to transfer in early 2018. We are also concurrently completing necessary paperwork and requirements for adoption.
What is your infertility diagnosis if you have one?
Premature Ovarian Failure (extremely early menopause)
How old were you when you got your diagnosis and how old are you now?
Had just turned 27, and I’ve just turned 30
What do you do to keep your spirits up on the tough days?
Honestly I don’t even try to keep my spirits up when it’s extra tough. I wallow and feel bad for myself because it’s what I need. I find writing my blog, talking about the process, painting and knitting are really therapeutic and helpful for getting me though the regular days that are hard. Infertility is chronic and every day has some weight of sadness that needs to be processed to move forward.
How do you feel you have been treated by medical professionals?
My diagnosis is uncommon so it was missed early on even though my symptoms are pretty classic. I think all the medical professionals I have dealt with have tried their best; however it hasn’t always been good. My clinic kept me on ovulatory drugs long after they got the blood work back that I had no eggs to ovulate which kept us on the “timed sex” longer. The nurses sometimes didn’t check the chart to see that I needed an egg donor and were confused, thinking that my sister was the one with Infertility since she was doing the IVF procedure. One nurse told me I couldn’t be in the back area/recovery for my sister’s second egg retrieval. When I called telling them I was on cycle day 1, they would call back asking if I had done a home pregnancy test or if they needed to do a blood test even though my bloodwork was 3 days ago. If they had checked my chart before calling me back they would know that without having to ask a painful question.
Have you ever been offered support of any kind?
My clinic has a councillor for $90/hour that was offered, and was mandatory for using an egg donor.
If so have you had any?
My experience with the mandatory counsellor was really negative and I didn’t opt to pay for extra sessions. I did see a councillor recommended by my regular doctor and it was somewhat helpful but they told me I was already using great coping strategies so I stopped going. My family has been pretty supportive emotionally and also helped a bit financially.
How do your issues affect you on a day to day basis?
I think about my infertility daily and usually it’s sad but sometimes I’m hopeful about the next treatment working. I have to be careful about listening to certain songs on the radio or TV shows because they will make me very emotional. I stopped going on facebook except quickly to post my blog entries or to reply to events I’ve been invited to because people post lots of pictures of their kids and babies on it. I don’t go to baby showers or look at baby pictures.
Sometimes I stop reading some of my favourite infertility blogs because they make me sad if someone has a miscarriage or a negative pregnancy test; or jealous if they have become pregnant. The financial burden also means we haven’t been able to do renovations or buy some or the things we want to so most days I also think about how we can reduce spending, or hold off on buying something we want or need.
If you could tell yourself something back when you were first diagnosed what would it be?
I would tell myself that it’s ok to be sad and that it’s ok to show other people that I’m sad. It doesn’t make you weak to be vulnerable, it makes you strong.
My extra question:
What do you tell people when they ask if you’ve thought about adoption?
I tell them that yes I defiantly have, but it doesn’t replace what infertility has taken from me. It is a way to fulfil the instinct to parent, and that is huge, but the struggle of infertility is about more than wanting to be a parent. I also tell them about the legal requirements, the expense, and that going through the process doesn’t guarantee you will be chosen as adoptive parents. I tell them that I would like to experience pregnancy, be there for the birth of my child, and have control over the prenatal care of my child. Most people who ask haven’t gone through the process and didn’t choose it for themselves, preferring to have a family traditionally.
Sometimes I reply “yes, have/did you?”
Thanks you so much to Allison over at ‘my journey creating life‘ for answering these questions, hopefully it helps anyone reading this to get a bit of information and insight into the world of fertility issues.
If ANYONE reading this, no matter how far you are in your fertility journey, would like to take part and answer the questions, just get in touch, the more of us get involved the more we can help others!
Until next time..