I hope this week is treating you all well! I have been struggling with my mental health lately, but today has been a good day! And it feels great to say so!
Today is a BIG day for the world of IVF, it is 40 years old!!
As i typed that sentenced i mused that i would LOVE to speak to the first people to under go IVF and find out what it was like for them! Compare stories and share experiences! In a weird way i feel as if i already have a connection with them, pioneers for the rest of us, into such an unknown world, one that must have seemed so daring, scary, new and powerful..? MAYBE!
It was all of those things when i underwent the process nearly 40 years on, so i can only just imagine what they must have been thinking and feeling!!
If you are out there… i would love to speak to you!!
The Fertility network UK are a fabulous charity, i am actually registered to volunteer with them, although i am yet to have anyone approach me (which i am HOPING in not because people think help isn’t out there, it is! Please use it!! )
Anyway, they are running a campaign to get people talking about IVF and infertility, today on this big day for IVF they posed a question to their twitter followers…
‘What does IVF mean to you?’
And what a question that is! I am not sure i could ever fully explain fully what it means to me, but i will give it a go! And i am looking forward to what others think too!
When it comes to fertility treatment, i feel like something of a veteran now and am possibly in a position where I can share a decent view of IVF, although only from an NHS point of view, I have no experience of the private sector!
I know that there have been ALOT of cuts lately, and my feeling on that is a post for another day, but as it is, i am grateful that i was given the opportunities i was to try and become pregnant and have a child in that way! ( i say it like this because eventually we do plan to adopt and they will be our children, we will be parents, but when the time is right)
Anyway.. on to answering the question..
The short answer would be, the word IVF gives me butterfly’s, but of course i am a rambler so i will go on..
Every time I hear those letters uttered, it can be anywhere, even just overhearing it in the supermarket or reading about it on the front page of a magazine, my stomach flips!
It makes me nervous and brings back feelings of utter fear.
In a flash it takes me right back to the clinic, the waiting room, the smells, the plants (strategically placed obviously after someone advised them that this will make people feel more relaxed and at home!?!)
That clinic is where all our dreams could be made.. or taken away from us in equal measures, and i was so aware of that from the day i stepped foot in there!
For so long that clinic and the IVF cycles they provided us held the key to our future. It was the decider of my fate and I treated it with the respect you would a boss who you are hoping might give you a raise!
Going over and above in the hope it gives me everything in return!
But in another way, those 3 letters IVF, it makes me feel part of something, like a secret club (not necessarily a good one) that i am part of, where words are shortened to letters that most wouldn’t understand and where, in my experience there are communities of people who all want to support each other through what is quite possibly the hardest time of their lives!
It gives me hope that people can be kind and gentle. That out there in the wider world someone understands my pain, when the people closest to me don’t even know i am suffering!
And although i wish i wasn’t and that life had dealt me a different hand, i am proud to be part of something, where people are willing to share stories, in the hope it gives people in the future a better chance, i think that is pretty amazing!
So there it is, in as short a version as i could muster, because IVF is a complicated beast, one that means so many things to so many people, for me, it is my past, but not one i try to block out and forget about, it has made me a stronger person, it has also shown me my weaknesses, and although they can still be a daily struggle, i am glad i know my triggers and i have IVF and all that comes with it to thank for that!
If you are reading this, and you are about to undergo IVF, or have found out about fertility issues and IVF is an option for you, no matter how far in the future, please know, there are people out there, should you want to reach out, for advice, for a rant, for a cry, there really are some great communities on the web! ( you can always contact me directly too! ) Here is my contact form.
From the 30th October – 5th November it is National Fertility awareness Week, i am sure there will be a lot of info there too!
That is all from me for today!
In the mean time, myself and some other Infertility bloggers are working together to get some information on IVF/Fertility and all that comes with it by doing a Q&A series, read it here.