Infertility · Ivf · lifestyle · mental health

What people think when you say you have anxiety.

What is anxiety?

Image result for anxiety explained

The problem with telling people you have anxiety is that not a lot of people understand, to most, anxious is the feeling you get when you might miss the bus, or before an interview and to me it is so much more! 

And yes, of course these feelings are totally rational and i am not trying to play down these feelings or make out that anyone feels any less anxious than i do, but i wish there was some sort of explanation, somewhere between anxious and depressed, that could better describe the feelings i get which i refer to as anxiety, and that i know a lot of people i have connect with through my blog are also feeling!

When i talk about my anxiety, what i am referring to is a feeling of complete paralysis, physically, mentally, emotionally, not always at the same time, but sometimes it can be, and i don’t have the capability of thinking or acting like a rational human being, the fact that i am not capable makes me worse, and in turn makes me feel more anxious, it can be a vicious cycle that can last an hour, a day, a week or sometimes much longer, something i have no control over whatsoever.

I have spoken before how my diagnosis has effected my relationship with people around me, and anxiety is the same, the days i feel awful i can hardly hold a conversation, for people who don’t understand what it does to me it can appear like i am uninterested in them, or what ever it is we are doing, some have said to me that i just need to ‘stop worrying’ or need to ‘just try and calm down’ or to ‘forget about it’, what they don’t understand is that it isn’t a conscious thing, it can’t change by taking a couple of deep breaths or just deciding not to worry about something any more.

I am not very good at vocalising to people how it effects me, i fear they think i am being ridiculous, that it makes me seem weak, and not in control on my own emotions. And i hate to seem out of control of my emotions in front of people, its something i try hard not to do!

I wonder what others experience of this is? Do you feel like anxiety can be down played in society and if so how does that effect you and your anxiety?

Maybe i am writing this to get some sort of reassurance that the way i feel is okay, that i am not abnormal but equally that i am not over exaggerating how i am feeling, sometimes when i am feeling that way i wonder if i am just being so self absorbed that i really do need to snap out of it and that i need to stop letting myself feel that way.

This blog really has helped me understand and accept that i have more mental health issues than i originally thought, it has given me an opportunity to connect with others in a similar situation and i am so grateful for that, you guys are amazing, and are helping me become a healthier person, i hope i can do the same for you! 

I look forward to hearing your opinions of this topic…. until next time…

bye bye

 

 

 

 

 

33 thoughts on “What people think when you say you have anxiety.

  1. From what I’ve learnt through my studies, I’ve tried to change the way I talk about these kind of things – most/everybody feels anxious at varies times throughout their lives, it’s evolutionary and helps keep us safe. A small population of the world have anxiety, a medical diagnosis, that is like a hyperactive safety system that ends up being maladaptive rather than keeping the individual safe. But it’s gonna take a while til this language shift spreads and more ppl understand the seriousness of anxiety.

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  2. I suffer with anxiety too and you are definitely right it does get played down by people so much, even my dad has trouble understanding when he’s seen my full blown anxiety in action. It’s one of those things I think that although you can sympathise (well some can) with someone who has anxiety you can never fully understand until it happens to you.

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  3. I don’t suffer from anxiety or know anyone who does but reading your blog reminded me of my best friend who has fibromyalgia. She eventually lost her job because of it. But to this day, some people think she’s faking it or being lazy . People have trouble understanding when they do not experience it themselves. I think the world is beginning to lose their sense of empathy.

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  4. Omg I feel you with this- I hope to blog more about my anxiety in the future but I feel you- I have generalized anxiety AND social…the social is more prevalent for me. Every single day is a struggle- lately has been better, though. I think because I have distracted/busy that it got better, but I keep waiting for the moment when it comes back.

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    1. I know how you feel there, those times it’s ok is fab… but you just wait for that awful feeling to come back again, and then it upsets me so much when it does!
      Glad you have been doing well lately though!i think being busy can help, but for me when I’m busy I get tired and when I’m tired a get so bad with it!

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  5. Hi! What you’re feeling is absolutely not abnormal! You’re suffering from anxiety, which is not your fault…I’m glad the blog is helping with that, and having a supportive community of people who understand what you’re going through is really awesome:) Let me know if you ever want to talk about it, I’m in no way an authority on the matter but I’m always willing to lend a listening ear:)

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    1. Hi! Thank you so much for taking he time to comment. And thank you for offering support. It’s amazing that people out there are just so kind and willing to offer support to other. For now, I feel ok!

      Liked by 1 person

  6. I think it is so important to talk about mental health, especially anxiety! I suffer from this and the hardest part is no one understands, as I have got older I have got better but when I have a bad day, I have a BAD day! Thank you for sharing your experience and your feelings and also raising awareness! xo

    Pinar | beautybakingbella.com

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  7. Unfortunately it’s like every invisible disease, if people can’t see what’s wrong with you, then they can’t understand it. But that pretty much goes for everything in life, the people who truly understand, are those who have suffered the same (mental health issues, fertility, grief, everything). I’ve been trying to work on my anxiety learning that I live either in the past (going over old conversations or incidents) or in the future (rehearsing future conversations or listing plans in my head). I’ve started reading The Power Of Now by Eckhart Tolly and learning to stop doing this and live in the present – it has helped my anxiety quite a lot 💕

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  8. Another well written blog, I really admire your openness and you aren’t on your own at all! I think it is so important that we talk about these things so people feel less alone, I suffer with SAD which I also find frustrating, as half the year I feel like me and then October comes and I feel like a different person, I feel like there is a cloud over my head every day between early October and early March and then it’s like a light switch and in March I’m back to being me again! I also don’t think people understand but since been diagnosed with vitamin d deficiency my friends and family understand it more & im building up my coping mechanisms for this winter! Lots of love to you xxx

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Well I’m hoping the vit d supplements will help this year and I’m getting a light box and I’m also making sure I go for a walk during lunchtime every day at work so I see some sunlight as although I walk my dog everyday, in the winter that will be in darkness in the morning and evening! I’m a different person in the sunshine!! Xx

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  9. Great post! I’m sorry you are suffering so much with Anxiety. I don’t have it myself but I know at least three people who are debilitated by it. I have observed in my own life that trying not to feel something only makes the emotion worse. If you burry any strong emotion it just bubbles up again later. I think it’s really important to process and try to interpret what you are feeling as it’s happening; wether it’s grief, sadness or anxiety. Try to figure out what has triggered your emotional response and why; then sit with it until it passes. Lots of people have social triggers and avoid interaction which isolates them. Telling yourself that everyone has uncomfortable and ackward moments and that it’s ok to feel that way is sometimes helpful. That gives you a sense of control too because you choose to accept the feeling your body is giving you. Don’t be afraid to get medical help if it’s more than you can handle on your own. There are medications that can help.
    Sending you love.

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