Infertility · Ivf

Pregnancy announcements – How to deal with them.

The aim of my blog is to show how life can be okay after IVF and infertility diagnosis, providing (hopefully) useful insights and information along the way and maybe giving you some inspiration on ways to tackle any anxiety and stress that it can inevitably cause, for example theΒ weekly goals Β (check it out to see this weeks) i set myself.

I want to be honest with you, and yes, i still struggle with general anxiety that was in reality brought on by infertility (whatever else i try to tell myself), i’m on the mend though, physically, emotionally, mentally, but honestly the thing that gets me every time is when a pregnancy announcement pops up unexpectedly!

If you have been diagnosed with fertility issues or been through IVF and come out the other end childless, i’d be lying if i said i thought one day it will no longer be difficult to see those pregnancy announcements that pop up like surprise, taunting middle fingers sticking up at you on social media. (normally when you WERE having a good day with less anxiety attacks than usual)

Don’t get me wrong, sometimes i’m totally able to deal with it, but other times, especially when its not expected, it can be an awful feeling. It gets you, right in the pit of the stomach! I’m not even sure i can communicate the over riding feeling i get when i see one, its not anger, of course not, and its not even jealousy.. sadness maybe, yes, and almost like i don’t have the right to look at it, as if i am not part of the private members only club that can carry a child for the full 9 months, so i’m not allowed to understand the process of scans and announcements.

There are ways though and i am now a master in the art of avoiding (ideally) or at least dealing with it when it does happen, because lets be honest, its going to!

  1. Β I just go and hang out with our 9 month old niece, who cry’s A LOT like…. A LOT… whats more than a lot (looking for a better word)… a SHIT TON?!?!?, shes gorgeous and we are totally in love with her, but its amazing to give her back and have some peace and quiet, i never thought i would be one to say that though!
  2. Really simple but rather effective, huge breath in and out again, while with one thumb quickly scrolling past said announcement, especially if i’m not in the mood to deal with it, i just don’t, why put yourself through that, YOU DO NOT HAVE TO!!
  3. Talk about it, if i see someone is expecting i will tell my partner, it helps to vImage result for take a deep breathocalise it instead of it being couped up in my head swirling around taunting me.
  4. Don’t dwell on it, at first i used to dwell on it.. people who were announcing before the 3 month mark especially… we lost our little one at 3 months and i always thought to myself ‘we thought all was okay at that point’ and compared to us every time! People do whats right for them, it is not there fault!

 

Now what i’m talking about here is those sudden flashes of pregnancy scans that are posted on social media! I am yet to master the art of dealing with face to face pregnancy announcements from friends and family, that one i’m working on and would love to hear how you deal with it?

In the mean time, keep up to date with my current Weekly update.Β  i’d like to say its going well… but like i said.. i don’t want to lie to you!

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13 thoughts on “Pregnancy announcements – How to deal with them.

  1. Fortunately being in my 40’s I don’t have many friends who are looking to get pregnant. Blogland is really it, and so I stop following the blogs which makes me sad but is survival mode. While I was still in IVF mode it was actually easier to see announcements – now that I’m not in the club it’s actually much harder as it sows all kinds of seeds of “maybe we should have gone for another donor” or whatever. Unhealthy stuff. My cousin gave birth recently after going through pregnancy loss, but she lives in another country so I just got a thank you card for my gift, with the baby’s photo and that was really it as we’re not super close. I find comfort in the fact that my neighbors across the street who got pregnant with twins AND whose adoption just went through at almost the same time (the exact opposite of what we just went through) have just moved. Nice attitude I’ve got right now, I know πŸ™‚

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    1. Hi!
      Yeah, it really is survival mode isn’t it!
      I loved to see them when I was pregnant, it made me hopeful and exited for the time when we could do the Same but unfortunately it wasn’t to be!
      These days I try not to beat myself up about it all!
      Yeah, I don’t think I’d be strong enough to go to a baby shower yet! But long distance congratulations like that would be do-able!
      Ah wow. I bet that was hard! Did you rig there house up to make them think it was haunted so they would move?πŸ˜›πŸ˜œ

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      1. I know right? Yeah I don’t know them well at all but was talking to another neighbor across the street who ALSO is battling (albeit early stage) Infertility and they shared the juicy gossip. Oy.

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  2. The ones that have been getting me the most lately is when someone I’m FB friends with likes their friends announcement…..so I end up with a complete strangers pregnancy scan in my newsfeed! Or like the other day when a friend was tagged in her SILs labour announcement – I really did not need those details!!!

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