Now we have the introduction out of the way.
I wondered how many of you were or are feeling lost after drawing a line under ivf?
It’s such a weird feeling. A lot of my friends and family say they could really see that a weight had been lifted after my last cycle. And mostly I would agree, I don’t have all that pain, frustration and HORMONES hanging around me like bad smells but it’s not that easy, not that easy to let go of it all, to decide that’s it and I’m ready to move on. Is anyone ever ready to do that? I think that the struggle now is was more internal.
This is where I’m at right now. We don’t have children. And that’s not the part that’s causing so much of my anxiety. It’s the hole it has left in my life. I put so much focus on it, everything I did was because of ivf, I literally lived and breathed it and it gave me purpose for such a long time!
I put any sense of career out on the back burner along with looking after myself mentally. Physically I’m ok because I put so much into it to keep me healthy for ivf. But I’m realising that I really have neglected myself, I’ve neglected to think about what makes me happy, what makes me laugh or feel content. I really need to work on getting that back because I WAS ivf for so long, but now I’m not, I’m just me, and I need to remember who that is again!